Please Excuse

These are actual emails that I received at work today with the number of students affected in paranthesis:

Please excuse the following for today and Friday to participate in the Jazz Festival (48)
Please excuse the following boys for today and Friday for soccer tournament (23)
Please excuse the following girls for today and Friday for soccer tournament (19)
Please excuse the following students for third and fourth period Friday for NHS (75)
Please excuse the following students to help with the blood drive Friday (17)
Please excuse the following students to donate blood Friday (various times, but 2.5 hours each) (55)
Please excuse the following girls for softball tournament Friday (27)
Please excuse the following for today and Friday for state science fair (6)
Please excuse the following the track meet on Friday (21)
Please excuse the following Friday for field trip to ________ (16)
Please excuse the following Friday to attend DARE assembly at the middle school (15)
Please excuse the following for baseball game on Friday (29)
Please excuse the following on Friday for Chamber of Commerce Youth meeting (17)
Please excuse the following on Friday for Peer counseling training (25)

393 students excused on Friday. We have 1470 students.

Its a good thing we don’t have state tests in three weeks…

Oh, thats right, we do.

Good luck to us.

Happy Pi Day!

3.
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63698074265425278625518184175746728909777727938000…

So much for tolerance

I’ve probably mentioned it before, but I’m the webmaster for my school’s website. I’ve been told by central administration to update the website. So, I have been.

For the library page I found a really nice banner. It is a picture of a library stack taken from one end with the perspective fading away. There’s a nice golden globe on the right and the word ‘Library’ in the lower left. Nice header. I was pleased as I put the banner on the page Friday.

Within 5 minutes, no exaggeration, I received an email from the librarian.

Please change the library webpage back to the way it was.

So I emailed her back and told her that I was told to update the page. Almost an instant return email.

Well, you can’t use this. Change it to something else.

I emailed her back and told her that I’d be more than happy to come up on my planning period Monday and look at some other options.

You have to change it now. I don’t want people seeing it over the weekend and sending letters to the newspaper.

So I emailed her back and asked her what the problem was.

Its inappropriate. That was the entire email.

I told her that I didn’t understand what the problem was and I’d see her on Monday. I went back and looked at the picture to figure out what was wrong. I couldn’t figure it out. She sent me another email.

The overall picture is great, but some of the books aren’t.

Hmmm. I looked closer. Then I saw it. One the end of the stack was a book with the title on the spine. If you looked reallllllllllllly close you could read it. “Encyclopedia of Islam”. And that offended her. I left the header alone and asked 5 or 6 other people what they thought of it. Nobody said anything. I came home and showed it to everybody in the family. Nobody could find anything wrong. I showed it to the principal and the head assistant principal today. They saw nothing wrong. When I pointed out what the librarian had a problem with they agreed with her and made me crop it out.

Teach tolerance? Not in this part of the country.

Guess who?

Somebody I’m very close to just found out she’s gonna be a grandma again. Its bad enough being married to a grandma, now she’s gonna have two of ‘em…

On the bright side…

Weekly weigh-in:

265

down three pounds this week.

woot.

I just don’t understand

I gave a Geometry test today. 62 students. 17 turned their test in blank. Didn’t even attempt a single problem. When I was in school my parents would have kicked my ass if I had done that. Most of these parents will somehow blame me.

Fat Tuesday!

How appropriate.

I gained another freakin’ pound.

I have, however, lost almost an inch off the waist, gained almost an inch in my chest, gained almost an inch on the bicep.

You know you’ve been a teacher too long when…

You know you’ve been a teacher too long when you’re sitting in the bar and the bartender points toward the pool tables and yells, “FIGHT!” and your first reaction is to go break it up…

Some days you just throw out the lesson plans

The hot rumor at school is that I got a tat this past weekend.

During my 2nd period Geometry class the kids wanted to see it. I showed them and they wanted to know why I put that ribbon around the pi sign. I explained that there were two reasons: First, it represents infinity, and pi is infinite and second it is a mobius strip. Of course nobody knew what a mobius strip was so I threw out the plans, got out rolls of adding machine tape and we made mobius strips. It was a blast watching the kids try to figure out how there could only be one side on the paper and how if you cut it down the middle you still only have one strip. Even the kids who don’t get involved on a daily basis were actively participating.

The best part for me was explaining why I chose this particular design. I explained that, in my mind at least, if you are going to permanently mark your body it should have meaning, not just a design that you might not care for a few years down the road. While the kids were working on their strips I heard two girls commenting on how they were re-thinking plans for getting tats on their 18th birthdays. One of my seniors who has a large band tat on his bicep told the other kids that he wishes he’d waited, that after two years he didn’t think it was as cool as it once was.

They pay me to teach math, but I live for days I can teach about life too.

Go ahead, ask me anything

I teach high school math. That is what they pay me for. At various times I also teach english, and history, and science. While I believe that my subject is the absolute most important subject on the campus, I realize that kids need help with other things so, if they ask, I do what I can. I’m pretty smart, if I do say so myself, and the kids know I can answer most of their questions, and point them in the right direction if need be.

One of the math classes I teach is Advanced Placement Statistics. These kids are the cream of the crop, the best and smartest kids in my school. This course is a college-level class and I teach it as such, and treat the kids differently than I do my other classes. I try to treat them as adults and my classroom rules are somewhat relaxed. For instance, if I see one of the students texting I may make a comment about how they need to pay attention, but I won’t take the phone. They also know if they are texting and ask me a question later about the material they missed I will, quite literally, laugh in their faces.

Today one of my best students was busy texting while I was lecturing. This is the third year I’ve had her in class so we have a pretty good relationship. I was teaching away about hypothesis testing and had just finished an example and asked if anyone had a question.

Her Highness (she was homecoming queen) raised her hand and said, “I have a question.”

With great anticipation of shaming her for being on her phone while I was lecturing I said, “Fire away.”

Her question? “How do you spell ‘inconsiderate’ and is asshole one word or two?”

I was quite taken aback. I just sat there for a moment. The rest of the class had a collective gasp. Then I asked her, “Is someone sending a text to her boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

“Why would you ask that in class?”

“Well, if I’m going to tell someone off I don’t want to make spelling mistakes. That wouldn’t look right.”

I guess she’s got a point…