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One component of the new software our district is using is a new gradebook.  I love it.  It is user friendly and has many nice extras.  One of the extras is that with one click I can look up any of my students schedule for the day.  I know which teachers each of them has, and which period.

Maybe this isn’t such a great feature after all.

We have a rule in our school, no visible piercings other than ears.  Period.  None.

That’s supposed to be the rule.  If a kid comes into class with piercings we are to first ask them to remove them and if they refuse, send them to the appropriate administrator.

[It may be a stupid rule, I may not agree with it, but, a rule is a rule and I’m expected to enforce it.]

Seventh period.  A girl enters my room with two studs in her upper lip, a large nose ring, and three studs in her eyebrows.  Excuse me young lady, can I speak with you in the hall?  You know you have to remove the piercings, right?  Why?  Because that’s the school rule.  I don’t care if I’m the first person to tell you this today, you still have to take them out.  Well, if that’s the way you feel go the principal’s office.  I know I’m a jackass, do it anyway.

I then go into my room and email the principal.  Surely I’m not the first person to send her to you today am I?  It turns out that yes, I am.  Flashes of red begin to appear at the edges of my vision.  I look up her schedule on the new handy-dandy software and compose an email along the lines of: WTF do you people think you’re doing?  Do your F’ing job.

Before I hit the send button I cool down enough to realize this might not be the way to approach things.  I delete that email and send this one:

JF is in my seventh period class.  She put her studs and rings back into her various piercings before she got to my room today.  Then she proceeded to lie about all of you telling me that none of you made her take them out when she was in your class.  I just thought it would be good for you to know about the nasty rumors being spread about how you don’t do your job.

Too subtle?


  1. Hahahahahahhahahaha! I love your email. Perfectly sarcastic, just as I would do it. They probably still won’t get the message.

    It always baffles me when a student gets to my room at the end of the day and hasn’t been warned/disciplined for breaking a rule. (I had several incidents with girls w/ short shorts. I’ve made students get sweatpants out of their lockers before.) Why isn’t EVERYONE doing their job? It’s almost like they want to make us good teachers look like jerks.

  2. &^%#%&*(^#

    I was hoping you’d put ’em on blast for being Slackers.

    But, I guess, since we’re supposed to be grownups, yours was probably the best course of action.

  3. Perfect form, I say! Excellent!

  4. You are so funny! Can’t wait for the fall-out! 🙂 I hate it when I am the “first” to notice rule infractions like that. One thing that comes up repeatedly is short skirts. The male teachers are afraid to address them, because it will look like they’re looking! They don’t want to talk to the girls about how short their skirts are. Some of them at least come and tell a female teacher. I hate being the bad guy, but I will do it 🙂

  5. A passive-aggressive masterpiece. I applaud you!

  6. I hate how it makes you look like a bad guy when it’s the other teacher who’s not enforcing the rules!

  7. Well…how did it go? Did anyone respond?

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