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in my algebra 2 class today i was teaching about conjugates of complex numbers.

(if you need, i’ll give you a few minutes to google that…)

a young man sitting near the back raised his hand. 

“i got an uncle in big mac (state maximum security prison) who gets one conjugate visit every month.”

uhm, no he doesn’t.  those are called, ‘conjugal visits’ and they don’t have anything to do with math.

“i’m pretty sure they’re called conjugate mr. w.”

no.  let’s get back to the lesson.

later, as i’m passing through the class and helping, encouraging, crackin’ the whip i hear the kid say to the guy next to him, “mr. w thinks he’s a english teacher.  i know those are conjugate visits.”

in retrospect i should have realized that the potential is there for many of the kids in that particular class to be in need of conjugal visits in the future.  maybe i should have veered off the lesson plan today…


  1. Good grief…


  2. Great story!

    truth is funnier than fiction, especially in a high school

  3. That’s FUNNY!!!

    I think I saw that kid in my hall yesterday. He was wearing a t-shirt that said, “screw”. I told him, “That shirt is inappropriate for school.”
    He rolled his eyes, “Whatever.” And walked on.
    After he was out of earshot, I looked at the other teacher in the hall and said, “Maybe we should cut him a break. That’s probably gonna be the closest he ever gets.”
    We both laughed heartily.

    that’s the difference between us. i wouldn’t have waited until he couldn’t hear me…

  4. I had a student tell me that an asymptote was what the crack in your rear is called.

    isn’t it?

  5. Of course he was a high school student is language was as nice as mine.

  6. wasn’t as nice!

  7. Oh no he dinnit! He called you an English teacher?

    (Just playing… I lurve all English teachers. mwah!)

    actually, one of those things people don’t about me…
    i’m one class and a state test away from being certified to teach english

  8. you know, your stories are so funny, I”m beginning to think you’re making them up. HILARIOUS!

  9. When that child finds out the truth, he will feel like an ass all on his own. The teaching moment happened regardless. On that note, I had to look up both words. Thanks for the lesson!

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