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Famous words of wisdom from my wife.

Yesterday I wasn’t feeling well all day. Not seriously ill, just off a little. I passed the feeling off to end of the school year doldrums. I went home after work and flopped on the couch.

My wife came home and fixed dinner. Sweet and sour chicken, one of my favs. About two bites into my meal I started feeling nauseous. My legs and arms began to feel ‘jello-ey’ and the room started to swim. Before too long I was fighting hard to stay awake. I have, in the past, had problems with my sugar so I have a glucometer. Took a sample. 484. At that point my wife insisted we go to the ER.

When we first got there my oxygen level, I forget the word, was 90 and that seemed to worry some people.

Long story short [too late] they did their voodoo on me and I got to feeling better. While sitting in the room waiting for somebody to come look at me again I noticed that of the many wires I was hooked up to was one measuring that oxygen level. I started doing some deep breathing to see if I could affect the machine. Sure enough, after some deep breaths the number would go up a little. There was also a line running along that changed the deeper I was breathing. Cool. I then wondered to myself if I could hold my breath long enough to flatten that line out.

Turns out I can.

It also turns out that when that line goes flat alarms start going off everywhere and people come hauling ass into the room with crash carts and things…

My dear wife, who has put up with me for 27 years, smacked me in the head and apologized to everyone for her dumbass husband.

It turns out that all by blood work looked normal, except my sugar.  The doctor asked if I had any stress in my life right now.  Uh, yeah, at least until an hour ago…


  1. Glad you’re feeling better. A smack on the head was definitely in order!

  2. I went in for an emergency appendectomy 2 years ago. Turns out the situation wouldn’t have been so dire if I had heeded the warning signs–fever, severe pain in my gut–that I’d been having all week. Hope your head was OK after your wife bopped you! 🙂

  3. Enjoy the long weekend!

    an 82 day weekend… the best kind…

  4. While I’m sorry to hear that you were under the weather yesterday, I was incredibly amused by your “experiment” with the oxygen machine!!

    Your poor wife!! I’m sure she was mortified! (It’s a good thing she knows the benefit that a good smack-in-the-head can have.) 🙂

  5. I would have smacked you in the head too, then walked out of the room and laughed my ass off. You’re just not right.

    the thing is, my wife is the office manager for the doctor who is contracted to run this ER, so she knows everyone in there.

  6. hi M — hahaha, loved this. thanks, you made me laugh out loud. that is so cool that you got to see what happens when you experiment. you had me laughing when you described everyone coming running. i would have smacked you in the head, too, but not TOOOOO hard. hehehe. thanks for the giggle, beany 🙂

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