A selection of quotes for your amusement

I’ve spent the last hour or so doing some research.  Here, for your enjoyment are the results:

 “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
 — Winston Churchill

 “A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
 — Winston Churchill

 “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
 — Clarence Darrow

 “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
 — William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

 “Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
 — Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

 “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
 — Moses Hadas

 “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
 — Abraham Lincoln

 “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
 — Groucho Marx

 “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
 — Mark Twain

 “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
 — Oscar Wilde

 “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have
 one.”
 — George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

 “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”
 — Winston Churchill, in response.

 “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
 — Stephen Bishop

 “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
 — John Bright

 “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
 — Irvin S. Cobb

 “He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.”
 — Samuel Johnson

 “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
 — Paul Keating

 “He had delusions of adequacy.”
 — Walter Kerr

 “There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”
 — Jack E. Leonard

 “He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”
 — Robert Redford

 “They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge .”
 — Thomas Brackett Reed

 “He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he
 overcame them.”
 — James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

 “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”
 — Charles, Count Talleyrand

 “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
 — Forrest Tucker

 “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
 — Mark Twain

 “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
 — Mae West

 “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
 — Oscar Wilde