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Our school’s campus is fairly spread out.  My room is on the far east side of the campus and there is a building on the far west side, referred to as ‘the hill’ that holds about 15 classrooms.  It is perhaps a quarter mile between the two buildings.  There has been a problem lately with students coming from ‘the hill’ to my classroom and arriving late.  The teachers on the hill won’t count a kid tardy until a minute or so after the tardy bell if they are coming from my side of the campus.  The kids then, naturally, expect the same time to get back to my classroom.  I don’t give them extra time, if they aren’t there when the tardy bell rings, they’re late.

Anyway, I sent an email schoolwide asking that the teachers on ‘the hill’ to stop telling students they have extra time to get to my class.  I told them if they wanted to not count tardies that was their business, but I was counting them.

Well, you would have thought that I told them their mothers were French whores.  I received returned emails informing me that not only did they count tardies but that they never told kids they were allowed to be late to class.  They were offended that I even suggested so. 

Whatever.

But, to keep the peace, I sent an apology email.  I admitted that I should have been aware that ALL my students lie to me and that I was sure that they were doing a great job on ‘the hill’ and wished them a wonderful summer.

That wasn’t enough for one teacher though.  He sent me a scathing email that was cc’d to everyone.  I responded to the email by thanking him for his opinions and assuring him that I would take his points under consideration.

I let myself cool down for a couple days and then wrote a response to his email.  I’ve shown my response to 4 close friends I teach with, and two think I should send it and two think I shouldn’t.  The response follows.  Give me your opinion on send/don’t send…  (his comments are in italics, my response in normal type)

Sir:

I promised to give your points consideration after I had contemplated them.  Here goes… 
Once again you have used your usually pompous, sarcastic, condescending tone to talk to all of us.

You left out smug, self-righteous and sanctimonious. 

Even your apology, if it is an apology is condescending.

Thank goodness you caught that.  I was afraid I was being too subtle. 

First of all I personally do not like it and am quite frankly sick and tired of it.  No kidding. 

Your computer keyboard has a delete button.   

Why don’t you just shut up and worry about doing your job. 

Had you read the original email, I was worrying about doing my job.  I addressed the fact that you can do whatever you want in your room, but my policy is no extra time.  I just asked a FAVOR that you not tell students they have extra time getting to MY class. 

I have come to the conclusion you are just a pathetic person, what ever made you this way is not us teachers and we do not deserve your wrath.

Sir, when I unleash my wrath you will undoubtedly know it.  This isn’t even close to wrath. 

How dare you group everyone together in classroom policy?  I am not going to speak for anyone but my self when I say I have never in my entire teaching career told a student they have one extra second to get to class on time. 

That’s interesting.  I was told by Mr. T [the assistant principal on the hill]  that the hill teachers voted to allow students an extra 90 seconds to get to class. 

I don’t know when or who made you in charge of being the teaching police, but I will be glad to speak to them if you will tell me who it is. 

That would be the 80% of teachers who voted for me in the last election [and this guy was my opponent].  I can’t give you specific names, because anonymous voting is one of the beachheads of democracy. 

First you want to go down town to tattle to the upper administration about things you could not possible know for sure other teachers are or are not doing in their classrooms. 

To begin with, it is part of the job I was elected to do is to meet with upper administration.  I also find it curious that you accuse me of talking about things I couldn’t possibly know, yet you seem to be certain that YOU know exactly what went on in my meeting with the upper administration.  Interesting. 

Now you want to tattle to the entire school and administration about things teachers on the hill are or are not doing

I’m not tattling to anyone.  Pretty much everyone knows what’s going on. 

Again you could not possibly know these things for sure.

See above re: Mr. T

How do I become as perfect as you and get just that speck out of my eye.

Nice job quoting the bible during a hateful rant.   

Oh never mind I would not want to be anything like you.

Thank goodness for that.  I like to think of myself as one-of-a-kind.

 

 

 

 

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9 Comments

  1. Send it. I like your response, and you keep your cool while stating the facts and, if I may be frank, that guy is the one making himself look like a jerk.
    Seriously, send it.

  2. Dont send their is no appeasing this person I would go with calling her mother a french whore ahhahahahhhaahhahhhhha….she needs to the pole out of her ass…and not get so worked up over the silly things..Zman sends

  3. Don’t send it. It will only piss him off and not serve a positive purpose.

  4. I would send a copy of his e-mail to the Powers that Be, so they know how crazy he is. A guy like that is not worth your time or worry. Funny response, though!

  5. I have a tear in my eye…I’m so friggin’ proud of you! Sarcasm is the hallmark of our family and you have risen to the occasion admirably! I would be tempted to send the response, and cc everyone as he did with his temper tantrum.

  6. How many more days ’til school ends? Let it go & enjoy the summer.

  7. Hmmmm, strangly, not everyone responds well to sarcasm. Other ways to deal would be that condesending chuckle with a ‘of course YOU are so right’ (I respond so WELL to that when hubby uses it) Or the whole go no where therapy approach (which goes over so well with the hubby when I use it) “I think there are anger issues here beyond the email, would you like to discuss them”

    Really enjoyed the letter….you’re really one funny guy (no sarcasm here, I really mean that)

  8. You’re being featured on Five Star Friday:
    http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2008/05/five-star-friday-edition-6.html

  9. “but I will be glad to speak to them if you will tell me who it is.” Not a teacher of grammar, I hope.

    I do have to wonder why he hates you SO much. You seem like a terrific guy to me. I’d just reply with a note that says, “I cannot think of anything to reply that would make this exchange of emails helpful to kids. I still have XX days left and plan to dedicate my efforts toward my students….”


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