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Daily Archives: April 26th, 2008

Cleaning out old emails.  Here’s another…

A letter to the editor I sent to the local paper a couple years ago in repsonse to teacher pay raises being debated:

Teachers only work 180 days a year, I say pay them for those days and no other.  No Christmas break, no spring break, and definetly no summer vacation.  180 days thats it.

Everybody knows that public schools teachers today do nothing but baby-sit.  I say, pay them babysitter wages.

When I get a babysitter for my kids I pay $3 per hour per kid.  That’s what I say pay teachers.  They only work what, 7 hours a day?  Class size averages what, 30 kids?  Okay, thats 30 kids times 7 hours times $3 times 180 days.  That comes out to…  wait a minute, there’s something wrong with my calculator.  Let me run those numbers again…  that can’t be right…  that works out to $113,400 per year?

Okay, nevermind.  Go ahead and give them that raise.

An email from a fellow teacher:

Have you heard about the next planned ‘Survivor’ show?

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in an elementary school classroom for 1 school year.  Each business person will be provided with a copy of his/her school district’s curriculum, and a class of 28 – 32 students.

Each class will have a minimum of five learning-disabled children, three with A.D.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three students will be labeled with severe behavior problems.  Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance, with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize, or create their materials accordingly. They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences. They must also stand in their doorway between class changes to monitor the hallways.

In addition, they will complete fire drills, tornado drills, and [Code Red] drills for shooting attacks each month.

They must attend workshops, faculty meetings, and attend curriculum development meetings. They must also tutor students who are behind.  If they are sick or having a bad day they must not let it show.

Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment to motivate students at all times.  If all students do not wish to cooperate, work, or learn, the teacher will be
held responsible.

The business people will only have access to the public golf course on the weekends, but with their new salary, they may not be able to afford it.  There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to thirty minutes, which is not counted as part of
their work day.  The business people will be permitted to use a student restroom, as long as another survival candidate can supervise their class.

The winner of this Season of Survivor will be allowed to return to their job.

Pass this to your friends who think teaching is easy, and to the ones that know it is hard.

I’ll begin this post with some background info.  On January 1, 2007 I weighed 313 pounds.  When I stepped on the scale last Monday I came in at 261. 

I’ll pause for a minute for the applause…

And before you ask (because everyone does) I stopped snacking and limit myself to one serving per meal.  That’s it.  No magic diet.

I’ve also had only about 8 hours sleep over the last two nights.  I really miss my pillow.


Today during a break at the state meeting I’m attending a teacher I only see once a year came up and started talking to me and a couple of other people.  After a few minutes the other people went on their way and left just the two of us.  She leaned into me with her head tilted just so, and in a slight whisper said, “Is everything alright?”


“Uhm, as far as I know.  Why do you ask?”

“Well, when the cancer took my brother he looked just like you do.”

DAMN, I must look like hell today…