The central administration today “over-ruled” me and gave JV, the kid I wrote about, his algebra credit and they are going to let him graduate.
They gave him a “proficiency” test and he supposedly passed.
What the hell was my final? I guess it wasn’t a proficiency test.
And then they wonder why teachers quit…
I received an email during 4th period today from the Principal:
Mr. W , your presence is required in my office today after school. I need to hold a disciplinary conference with a teacher for using vulgar language in class.
Being the VP of the teacher association it is one of my duties to represent teachers in such meetings. I got to the office a few minutes after the bell. There was a pair of parents already waiting. The teacher in question followed me in a couple of minutes later.
It was the teacher who sent me the email tirade the other day.
Turns out he got mad at his class and started dropping F-bombs. One kid has it on his cellphone video. Kids told the parents, parents complained to administration.
I’m sure he hated to have me see him in this situation, but all I did was take notes and ask him after the meeting if he needed any help filling out his response paperwork. He didn’t. I told him if needed anything to let me know.
i’m really glad I didn’t respond now.
A post from one of my fav bloggers. Really, I had nothing to do with it….
On Friday I passed out study guides/reviews for this week’s upcoming final exams. 150 questions, multiple choice, with the answers attached. I told them to be sure to work them over the weekend and ask questions Monday.
Quite a few students asked if I was going to work the problems in class.
No. I’ll answer specific questions, but I’m not working all the problems. Wtih 150 questions that would be impractical.
But… but… you’re not going to teach us how to do these?
Well, lil’ darlin’s, that’s what I spent the last 175 days doing. That’s why you took notes. That’s why you have a textbook.
But… but… you’re the teacher, teach us how to do this.
You don’t understand. I’ve already taught you. Now its your turn. Show me what you’ve learned.
This isn’t fair. You HAVE to teach us.
I am teaching you. I’m teaching you that at some point you have to do it on your own.
How do you do problem number 1?
How do YOU do problem number 1? If you have a specific question, go ahead and ask. How do you do the problem is not a specific question. A specific question is, “when I worked this this is the answer I got. where did I make a mistake?”
This isn’t fair. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
I’m going to have give Mr. Johnson a call. Mr. Johnson is the substitiute I use occasionally during the year. On days that I don’t feel like teaching I post the following note on the wall:
Hello, my name is Mr. Johnson. Mr. W wasn’t feeling well and had to go home. He left work for you. I am not a math person, I majored in History, so if you have any questions, I can’t help. Please do your work quietly. Thanks.
Then I sit at my desk and only answer to the name Mr. Johnson. I even had the computer tech guy make me an ID badge with the name Mr. Johnson. The first time I do this it takes the kids awhile to catch on. Then they’ll kinda play along.
You sure look like Mr. W. – Yeah people tell me that all the time. I’ve got more hair than him though.
Hey, if your a history major, what (random history question)? — Well, (correct answer to their history question, I mean really, how hard is high school history?)
The kids will try real hard to trip me up, but I can usually make it through.
If you’re a fellow teacher reading this, Mr/Mrs Johnson comes in handy for those days you just can’t bring yourself to teach. Try it some time, it can be fun.
I’ve spent the last hour or so doing some research. Here, for your enjoyment are the results:
”He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
– Winston Churchill
”A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
– Winston Churchill
”I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
– Clarence Darrow
”He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
– William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
”Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
– Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
”Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
– Moses Hadas
”He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
– Abraham Lincoln
”I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
– Groucho Marx
”I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
– Mark Twain
”He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
– Oscar Wilde
”I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have
one.”
– George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
”Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”
– Winston Churchill, in response.
”I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
– Stephen Bishop
”He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
– John Bright
”I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
– Irvin S. Cobb
”He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.”
– Samuel Johnson
”He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
– Paul Keating
”He had delusions of adequacy.”
– Walter Kerr
”There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”
– Jack E. Leonard
”He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”
– Robert Redford
”They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge .”
– Thomas Brackett Reed
”He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he
overcame them.”
– James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
”In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”
– Charles, Count Talleyrand
”He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
– Forrest Tucker
”Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
– Mark Twain
”His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
– Mae West
”Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
– Oscar Wilde
Not funny today…
I’ve got a kid, a senior, in my algebra 2 class, JV.
JV came to me at the beginning of the second semester because last year he passed the first semester of algebra 2 but failed the second. He is extremely intelligent, when he wants to be.
JV has:
missed class 21 times
been tardy 17 times
pulled a gun on his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend (not at school) and was in jail over a weekend
was beaten severly (at school) by the guy he pulled the gun on
has never once came to class with pencil or paper
has not taken a single note all semester
was caught cheating on two separate tests
I make myself available every morning 45 minutes before the first bell and an hour after school each day.
JV has not once came for extra help.
I’ve talked to his mother on the phone on 9 occasions. She always says she’ll talk to him, but if she does, it doesn’t do any good.
JV failed my class.
Now, of course, he’s all about, “What I can do to pass your class?” “I can’t graduate if I don’t pass this class.” His mom has sent me 13 emails in the last two days, “What can he do to pass your class?” “He’s can’t do summer school because he has financial obligations to the court.” “He’s already been accepted to NSU, he won’t be able to go if he doesn’t pass your class.”
He’s spent 17 weeks indifferent about his education. He deserves the failing grade. I’m not going to pass him just because he’s a senior.
This should be a no-brainer.
Why do I feel so damn guilty? This sucks.
Our school’s campus is fairly spread out. My room is on the far east side of the campus and there is a building on the far west side, referred to as ‘the hill’ that holds about 15 classrooms. It is perhaps a quarter mile between the two buildings. There has been a problem lately with students coming from ‘the hill’ to my classroom and arriving late. The teachers on the hill won’t count a kid tardy until a minute or so after the tardy bell if they are coming from my side of the campus. The kids then, naturally, expect the same time to get back to my classroom. I don’t give them extra time, if they aren’t there when the tardy bell rings, they’re late.
Anyway, I sent an email schoolwide asking that the teachers on ‘the hill’ to stop telling students they have extra time to get to my class. I told them if they wanted to not count tardies that was their business, but I was counting them.
Well, you would have thought that I told them their mothers were French whores. I received returned emails informing me that not only did they count tardies but that they never told kids they were allowed to be late to class. They were offended that I even suggested so.
Whatever.
But, to keep the peace, I sent an apology email. I admitted that I should have been aware that ALL my students lie to me and that I was sure that they were doing a great job on ‘the hill’ and wished them a wonderful summer.
That wasn’t enough for one teacher though. He sent me a scathing email that was cc’d to everyone. I responded to the email by thanking him for his opinions and assuring him that I would take his points under consideration.
I let myself cool down for a couple days and then wrote a response to his email. I’ve shown my response to 4 close friends I teach with, and two think I should send it and two think I shouldn’t. The response follows. Give me your opinion on send/don’t send… (his comments are in italics, my response in normal type)
Sir:
I promised to give your points consideration after I had contemplated them. Here goes…
Once again you have used your usually pompous, sarcastic, condescending tone to talk to all of us.
You left out smug, self-righteous and sanctimonious.
Even your apology, if it is an apology is condescending.
Thank goodness you caught that. I was afraid I was being too subtle.
First of all I personally do not like it and am quite frankly sick and tired of it. No kidding.
Your computer keyboard has a delete button.
Why don’t you just shut up and worry about doing your job.
Had you read the original email, I was worrying about doing my job. I addressed the fact that you can do whatever you want in your room, but my policy is no extra time. I just asked a FAVOR that you not tell students they have extra time getting to MY class.
I have come to the conclusion you are just a pathetic person, what ever made you this way is not us teachers and we do not deserve your wrath.
Sir, when I unleash my wrath you will undoubtedly know it. This isn’t even close to wrath.
How dare you group everyone together in classroom policy? I am not going to speak for anyone but my self when I say I have never in my entire teaching career told a student they have one extra second to get to class on time.
That’s interesting. I was told by Mr. T [the assistant principal on the hill] that the hill teachers voted to allow students an extra 90 seconds to get to class.
I don’t know when or who made you in charge of being the teaching police, but I will be glad to speak to them if you will tell me who it is.
That would be the 80% of teachers who voted for me in the last election [and this guy was my opponent]. I can’t give you specific names, because anonymous voting is one of the beachheads of democracy.
First you want to go down town to tattle to the upper administration about things you could not possible know for sure other teachers are or are not doing in their classrooms.
To begin with, it is part of the job I was elected to do is to meet with upper administration. I also find it curious that you accuse me of talking about things I couldn’t possibly know, yet you seem to be certain that YOU know exactly what went on in my meeting with the upper administration. Interesting.
Now you want to tattle to the entire school and administration about things teachers on the hill are or are not doing.
I’m not tattling to anyone. Pretty much everyone knows what’s going on.
Again you could not possibly know these things for sure.
See above re: Mr. T
How do I become as perfect as you and get just that speck out of my eye.
Nice job quoting the bible during a hateful rant.
Oh never mind I would not want to be anything like you.
Thank goodness for that. I like to think of myself as one-of-a-kind.
.
It turns out I wasn’t the only teacher the kids went after. The little bastards were well organized and hit almost everybody. A few teachers backed down and let them get away with it, but for the most part they were crushed.
The administration of my school district has been stressing to the teachers this year that our failure rates are too high . Now, we can talk about failure rates and the reasons thereof at another time, I just started out with that statement as background for what occurred today.
Today was finals day for my seniors. I pass out the finals and the scantrons to my students and returned to my desk. Before I can reclaim my chair the kids are passing their tests papers to the front of each row. WTF? When they get all them gathered in the front they pass them all to the right. That student (who will be referred to as Ringleader) makes a nice neat pile and brings them to my desk.
“Okay, what’s going on here?” I ask.
The reply from Ringleader? We know you can’t fail all of us, so we aren’t taking the test.
I’ll have to admit, I was speechless for a moment.
When I had gathered my wits I decided to talk about the responsibilities that come with being an adult, and how there are consequences to any action, and ask them if they were willing to pay the price for their stand. But before I started I asked them why they thought I wouldn’t fail all of them.
Ringleader: My mom’s a teacher (I knew that) and she says the principal told her she might get fired if she failed too many kids.
Oh, so you decided I can’t fail you all?
Ringleader: Not unless you want to get fired.
I know I’m a math teacher, but at that point we had a lesson on vocabulary. I explained to them what tenure was and pointed out that I did indeed possess this attribute. I let them know plainly that not only could I fail them all, but that I would indeed do so. I told them that anyone who wanted to go ahead and take the final could pick one up from my desk, and that they had already wasted 15 minutes of class time and would not be given an extension but that it was entirely their decision.
At least they were smart enough to know I was serious. They all came and got a copy of the test and got to work.
I’m not sure I’ve ever been more pissed off in class in my entire career.
I’ve never really understood why cellphones also had to be cameras. If I want to take a picture I’ll use a camera. If I want to make a phone call I’ll use my cellphone. It has always escaped me why a cellphone has to be a camera.
Well, now I understand.
I was stopped at the light as I was leaving school today. Across the highway, in the left turn lane facing me was a motorcycle. I noticed that this particular motorcycle had a large, strange looking sissy bar. It was about 5 feet tall and wider and “squarer” than most sissy bars. The light changed and the motorcycle came through the intersection and I was now looking at it from the side.
I don’t know that words will be able to describe it, but the guy had a lawnmower strapped onto his bitch seat. The deck of the lawn mower was angled down on the seat and what I thought was a sissy bar was the handle of the mower. If you can picture this, trust me, it was funnier than hell.
I turned right and was at the perfect angle for a picture at the next red light. And me with an old school, non-camera phone. Damn.
I think I’ll go see if I can upgrade tomorrow.
